Johnny Depp is Still Hot in Cartoon Form

     I've seen my fair share of Burton films and they never fail to give me nightmares each time. I picked out Corpse Bride this time around because I thought it shared the same consistency with two of my all time Burton favorites: The Nightmare Before Christmas and James and the Giant Peach. The keyword here is "thought".
     Set presumably in the early 1900's, Corpse Bride takes a dreary tone as it wraps readers around the intertwining lives of Victor Van Dort and Victoria Everglot as the two prepare for the fulfillment of their betrothal. Victor proves a disgrace to his family and the Everglots as he fails to remember his vows, from there he is promptly dismissed so that he may "practice his vows" aka get his ish together. Victor then unknowingly finds himself proposing and soon married to a desperate corpse bride buried beneath him despite his actual feelings for Victoria. The rest of the story focuses mainly on Victor's struggle and eventual triumph to win Victoria back setting the corpse bride's spirit free in the process.
     Wait. What. The. Actual. #$^@*(^. First of all, what age group is this film even directed at? Like what eight year old child can sit down and comprehend this "fairy tale" and not be totally scarred for life in the process? Good gracious, Tim, I thought The Nightmare Before Christmas weird enough. Also, why the heck does Johnny Depp think he's British all of a sudden? Seriously, John, love you, but you were born and raised in Owensboro, KENTUCKY. You need to quit it with the cheap British accent because no one is buying it. Finally, I wasn't sure the entire film who exactly I was supposed to be rooting for... I personally identified with the corpse because she had a personality (and was voiced by the wonderful Helena Bonham Carter whom I ADORE) unlike Victoria (voiced by Emily Watson) who was pretty bland throughout the entire movie lacking any redeemable qualities, but still came out on top in the end. I guess it goes to show you that personality isn't everything...?
     Okay, okay enough picking on TB I still love him. As weird and ridiculously gray as it all was, TB did his job as well as ever in his providing a fresh spin on a fairy tale, that much I can say. Though I wasn't super impressed with the plot, the characterization of many of the supporting roles was outstanding as usual voiced by no-names such as Joanna Lumley, Albert Finney, and Richard E. Grant. Also the illustrations were flawless per usual in a TB film, but with a 40 million dollar budget, what else is to be expected? Overall I give this 2 out of 5 bones.