ummmm.... excuse me what? a review of "2001: A Space Odyssey" by Sam Hayes

I'm just going to put my opinion of the film out there right away... This film should not be on the AFI top 100 list. I don't care that it's a classic, i don't care if it's thought provoking, i don't care that some twisted individual might hold this as his favorite movie, I don't think it deserves a spot on the top 100 list.

First things first, the plot.
The plot was... well spotty. It takes the movie twenty minutes to show a bunch of apes seeing a big black rectangle and learning how to use a damn club... something that could have been covered in 3 minutes tops. It was at this point that i realized i was much too tired to start this on a school night and paused the movie.
Upon resuming the movie, we find a traveler, Dr. Heywood Floyd, who is going to a moon excavation site at which there has been a major discovery. Researchers have found a rectangle similar to the one the apes found. This time the rectangle flashes a radio wave towards Jupiter.
Now we see Frank and Dave, two astronauts in charge of a mission to Jupiter to investigate the mystery of the rectangle (unbeknownst to them). Their only companion is HAL 9000, a self-aware computer designed to help them through the Journey. Soon enough, HAL decides that humans can only make errors, and starts creating problems. When Frank and Dave decide to do something, he quickly kills off Frank then the three other astronauts in cryostasis, and is disconnected by Dave, who then finds a video explaining the true purpose of the mission.
Enter Jupiter. Dave completes his journey to Jupiter only to realize he has fallen on an acid filled needle, has a humongous acid trip, then finally lands on Jupiter in the research pod. He finds that he is still having a trip, because he is not on Jupiter, he is in a bedroom, where an older him is staring at him. Older him soon finds an even older him, who finds a dying him, who finds the stupid black rectangle that caused all the trouble in the first place. He then becomes a fetus.... No joke.. that's the end of the movie... THAT'S THE END. AN ASTRONAUT FLIES 628,743,036-928,081,020 MILLION KILOMETERS AWAY ONLY TO HAVE AN ACID TRIP AND BECOME A FETUS. WHY DID I WATCH THIS MOVIE!?
The only odyssey i had during this movie was to sleepy time as i had to rewind the movie several times as it was just soooooooooooooo incredibly boring. You want to know how to do anything and everything? you want to know how to do it in space? WELL OKAY JIMMY! HERE YA GO! I don't know if this is one of those movies you have to watch over and over again to understand, but there's no way I, or any other logical human being would spend that much time watching something like this.
I give "2001: A Space Odyssey" 1 stupid, useless, good for nothing, trouble causing, sleep depriving, madness inducing black rectangle out of 5.